No Strings Attached

No Strings Attached

by Elizabeth Meriwether and Michael Samonek

Traditional Hollywood is slightly pornographic, which is probably why real pornography is so rampant there -- in the valley or wherever it's shot.

I was afraid that this movie was going to destroy Natalie Portman but thankfully, unlike most movies featuring the twit in the picture, it doesn't destroy its co-stars as well. I'm thinking of that dreadful movie where he fucked Anne Heche. Who?

Ashton Kutcher is probably the worst male actor to come along since... hmmm... I can't think of any male actor worse than this asshole... oh Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds perfected the irritating habit of winking at the camera, as if to say, "Oh yes we know this sucks but it's all good natured fun." It's pretty much the same as monster truck rallies, roller derby, demolition derbys and "Professional" wrestling. Get some beer (and some smokes in ye olden days), watch guys destroy things without risking a single thing. I don't understand it. But then I suppose the audience isn't taking any chances either. It's what separates those "activities" from their 'legitimate' counterparts. A real car race actually poses a risk for the drivers. Real wrestling is not pre-determined. And actors who actually act don't constantly wink at the camera or always keep one part of their mind behind on the other side of it.

In Hollywood, and now, unfortunately, most of the country, people are growing up with two points of view: they are always aware of the camera and that somebody is watching them, or has the potential to watch them. Why do people need to film themselves having sex (on cell phone cameras, no less), if they're not going to use it to masturbate later? What matters more to people these days is that they look right while doing anything. This is how porn has infected us. Facebook is pornography. Twitter is pornography. You Tube is pornography. Sex and The City is pornography. All over New York there are (maybe more "were" now) women running around trying to have Carrie Bradshaw type lives. That's not healthy.

This movie is fortunately well written enough that for brief moments, you can actually forget that a porno actor is one of the leads. The movie is about the fear of a woman to feel and I think it's because it's primarily about the woman's problem (the woman in this picture, has the harder journey), that we can overlook the smug, creepy I'm-so-famous acting of the male lead. But I'll never watch it a second time.